FRIENDS FOREVER ???

Such a cliché title, you might be thinking and my blog must have already been judged by you. But I’m guessing the question mark must have intrigued your curiosity. To be honest I was looking forward to this long weekend to write about a few things which were there on my mind from a long time and this topic was not at all in the list. But today when I sat to hit the keys on my laptop I realized it’s ‘Friendship Day’ eve and suddenly there was a hurricane of thoughts in my mind struggling to burst.

I have met many people in my life, some have no parents, some no siblings, some have no aunts-uncles and some no relatives but I have not met a single person till date without a friend. Even the most narcissist person like Dr. House has the most humble friend like Wilson.

So what makes this relationship so incomparable and pure? I think a simple fact that we get to choose it. In childhood being someone’s friend or having a friend was a big deal. You wouldn’t call anyone your friend until and unless you really mean it. But the 21^st century has changed some of the definitions. These days I see people casually calling each other their friends without actually meaning it. Now I am not saying that’s absolutely wrong and a big No-No. If you believe in quantity over quality it’s a sure shot thing for you. But if you believe in quality and have that true friend in your life, you would agree that real friends are treasures who show these traits:

1)   No priority list: We all have some priorities in our lives but when it comes to our family they are always our first choice. They are above our priority list. Same goes for real friends. They don’t count you after their parents or spouse or job. You are equally important to them and they would always make out time for you. You too are above that priority list and if you are not then… ahem…ahem…

2)   Your battle is my battle: When you have your loved ones by your side you never have to fight any battle alone. A real friend would always be there for you acting as a shield during your tough times, even if you don’t ask for the help. Just like Ron and Hermione did not leave Harry alone to fight his battle.

3)   I think it’s stupid: When your friend finds everything good and right about you then it’s time that you really reflect on this relationship. Nobody on this planet is perfect and that includes you as well. Although a good friend should motivate and encourage you, he should criticize you as well. Only a true friend would let you know about your weaknesses (most of the times without any sugarcoat) and expect you to get better.

4)   Stop the melodrama: Fights are inevitable in any relationship and friendship is no different. After a quarrel, your real friend would never let go of you easily. He would understand your emotions well and would not let any misunderstanding surface between the two of you. He would stand in front of you or call you to say ‘Stop the melodrama or I will kill you’ followed by resolving the fight.

5) I know: Sometimes we can say a thousand words and yet people would misunderstand us and sometimes our silence is enough to convey what we actually feel. Well, your true friend is not a God or a mind reader who would always know what’s going on in that head of yours but most of the times he would. He knows when your smile doesn’t reach your eyes or when there is a storm raging in your mind behind that steady and calm composure of yours. He knows all your secrets but never shares them with another true friend, even after a big fight between the two of you. He knows how to press your buttons and also how to calm you down.

Friendship like any other relationship is a two-way road. There’s give and take and there are also expectations. I do not believe in not expecting. I believe you should know your place in a person’s life and his situation before having expectations. It’s not expectations which lead to unhappiness but unrealistic expectations from wrong people at the wrong time. So it’s okay to expect from your friends and your loved ones. Sometimes this might result in tears but a good long talk would help in clearing the webs of misunderstanding, making your relationship stronger.

I hope tomorrow when you would WhatsApp someone ‘Happy Friendship Day’ with a nice forwarded message, you would know how pure and special this relationship is. I hope you mean it when you say ‘I am your friend’ because that person might actually believe your words and take it literally. I hope you reflect whether you are the type who prefers quantity over quality or vice a versa. I hope tomorrow you take efforts on your relationship in order to replace the question mark in my title of the blog with an exclamation mark.

Friends Forever!

Author: Khushboo Kharat