Being a girl born and brought up in an Indian joint family, I have always been taught to be respectful towards elders, kind with youngers and polite to everyone. Magic words ‘Sorry’, ‘Please’, ‘Thank you’, etc. used to be at the tip of my tongue. I was taught by my mother and teachers to greet people when I meet them and to respond to them whenever they talk to me. I remember, on many occasions when there were visitors at my home, I wanted to avoid meeting and talking to them but had to respond to their usual questions because it was a part of communication etiquettes. The only people I was not supposed to talk to or respond to were strangers or the ones who according to my parents were bad people.
Talking to family and friends was never exhausting or forced. Letters and greeting cards were never enough to quench our thirst of getting in touch with our distant loved ones. Making those short duration calls once in a while from landline during my childhood was nothing less than a treat. In college, when local calls were much cheaper, talking to my best friend for hours, right after coming back from college and spending almost 9 hours with her, are some of the memories that I treasure today.
With the advancement in technology, making calls and sending messages have become much easier both in terms of accessibility and affordability. Mobile users find Whatsapp the best mode to communicate these days. People can talk to anyone, anytime. Share pictures, videos, chat in groups, so much which the little me could have never imagined back then.
But then what about the etiquettes which we learned in childhood in terms of communicating with others? Just imagine if someone you know comes to you and say ‘Hi’. What would you do? 99.9% you would respond with a smile and a ‘Hi’, or if you are busy you would say ‘Hi, a little busy. Please give me a few moments’. But Whatsapp has modified these etiquettes.
Not only we have the privilege to not respond to a ‘Hi’ we also have the privilege to not respond at all. Now just imagine you are at a party on your own will and in a group when everyone is chatting merrily, you are completely ignoring them throughout the party. It makes me think why you even went there in the first place. Now the same thing is with groups in Whatsapp. People want to be in each and every group possible but as a mute participant. Many extraverts become completely introverts in Whatsapp group. Most intriguing are the people who do not respond at all at any point of time even if the topic being discussed is relevant and crucial to them.
But this is what almost everyone is doing these days. Not responding to messages even after they get time to respond, not being heartily involved in group chats, abruptly ending chats without a ‘Bye’ or ‘Take care’ or ‘See you soon’… which leave me thinking is this the new communication etiquette which I am a bit slow to pick. Why do I find it important to acknowledge almost each and every message sent to me? Do I need to modify my communication skills? Has the technology shrunken the world but have widened the distance between two people?
At the same time, I feel, just because communication has become free doesn’t mean the talks should increase. It also doesn’t mean just because the messages can be sent at any time, it should be sent at any time especially messages related to work. For formal, work-related talks, people should respect your personal space and should follow the working hours to communicate unless it’s really urgent. For friends and family, there should be no boundaries. But do tell them that you are busy and will revert soon (do get back when you can). Do acknowledge messages if not in words then with emojis (it’s funny from symbols to words we have again come back to symbols) Don’t let this new WhatsApp communication etiquettes make you forget your real etiquettes.
In the end, this write-up is not for anyone but my self-reflection as this new communication system has affected me as well. Sometimes even I feel frustrated and try to ignore the messages and not reply at all but teachings of my parents and teachers get the better of me and I end up responding. I don’t see the world as black and white and that is why I don’t expect to get what I give. I would try my very best to not let this new etiquette influence me, even if I am called a backward because not everything that glitters is gold. Sometimes ‘Old is gold’.
PS: My apologies if in the past I didn’t respond to your messages. Trust me, it was never deliberate.
Author: Khushboo Kharat
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